Chemo Vocab -- Plus Round 3

Nadir.

It's not exactly a word that I use in my every day vocabulary. I know what it means. It's defined as "the lowest point," usually in what a person or organization is feeling or experiencing.

Since starting chemo, I've become well acquainted with the word nadir. But it's not just mere acquaintance. I have felt the meaning of that word.

In chemo-speak, the nadir is when your blood cell count bottoms out -- white cells, red cells, platelets are really, really low. This happens because the chemo drugs don't just kill cancer cells...they kill healthy cells, too. Like blood cells. The nadir is also when someone receiving chemotherapy is most immunocompromised. With the chemo drugs I'm receiving the nadir comes between day 7-14 of the cycle (days 1-3 are when I receive the chemo infusions).

I'm learning that I hit the nadir hard right about day 10. Last cycle, I felt it creeping up on the afternoon of day 9. By that evening, I had a low grade fever and I was so tired that I went to bed an hour and a half earlier than usual. I had cold sweats that night (changed my t-shirt 2 times) and so didn't sleep well and woke up on Thursday with no energy, totally fatigued, and just walking up the stairs would leave me out of breath. It lasted all day and the next night.

Nadir. I know what it means, and I know how it feels.

Fortunately, it doesn't last long. By Friday evening, I was feeling better. But those 2 days or so are hard. And it's deceptive because I have 3 or so days of feeling OK after the chemo infusions before I hit the nadir. It's like the chemo drugs are saying, "See, it's all over now. You feel better, don't you?" And then...WHAM! Nadir.

I started round 3 of chemo this week. After this round, I'm halfway there. In my runner's frame of reference, once this round is done, I'm at mile 13.1 of a marathon. Halfway, but still with some tough running ahead.

As always, I'm grateful for all of the support, encouragement, and love people have shown me over the last couple of months. This is no fun, but it's infinitely better with caring people in your life. Thank you.

P.S. I still have eyebrows!!!

Round Two, Part 2

Round two of chemo infusions were last week. I was at the infusion center from 7:30 

This pretty much sums up round 2 of chemo.

a.m. until about 2:30 p.m. Monday through Wednesday. I can't tell you how hard it was to get out of the car at the patient drop off. It was like my body was screaming, "No, don't!" But I did get out, and once I was on my way, I was OK.

By Tuesday evening, I was really feeling it. And by Wednesday, the full impact descended on me. I felt awful (most of the time) on Wednesday, Thursday, and into Friday morning. Even with the different drugs to counteract it, nausea lurked around the edges. I was exhausted and my brain was foggy. But then, as I got farther away from the last chemo infusion, I gradually started to feel like I was going to make it. By Friday evening, I was feeling much better, a trend that continued into Saturday and Sunday.

I found out that one of the chemo drugs is nicknamed "the red devil" due to it's red-orange color. When I mentioned to one of the nurses that I'd heard the nickname, she said something like, "Oh, don't call it that. Think about it like it's Kool-Aid!" But then ensued a conversation about the Jonestown massacre. So I think I'll just use the drug's real name -- doxorubicin.

The other chemo drug I'm taking can cause neurotoxicity. I'm told to let them know right away if I have hallucinations or twitching. Turns out, on Tuesday my fingers and hands began to twitch involuntarily...just every now and then. Apparently it wasn't serious enough to cause concern, but it was definitely odd.

I've discovered an unknown fondness for my eyebrows. Hair loss is the least of my worries through this whole chemotherapy treatment process. I have classic male patterned baldness. I keep what hair I have on my head shaved close. But somehow, the thought of losing my thick eyebrows...well, it makes me sad. That's going to be a strange look for me when it happens!

My friends Staci and Terry picked me up and brought me home on Monday and Tuesday and then stayed with me (see neurotoxicity, above) until Allison got home from work. I am so grateful for their kindness and help!

Today I am feeling pretty good. This week is when my blood cell count will drop quite low, so I'll experience more fatigue (and be more vulnerable to infection). I did manage to go for a very slow run/walk this morning. Like reallllly verrrry slow. But I was among the trees and alongside the river at the park, and the air was cool and fresh and damp, and my heart was pumping and my blood was flowing and my lungs were filling with air...and I was simply grateful to be alive and moving.

I am so thankful for the many cards, texts, emails, and other expressions of love and support people have sent as I make my way through these treatments. Thank you for your prayers. It is much, much appreciated!

Round 2

Round two of chemotherapy started this week. This time, it's out patient and I am very happy about that. One of the hardest things about the first round was being in the hospital for 4 1/2 days. I didn't go outside the whole time, and I love being outdoors. I started to get cabin fever at the end, spending so much time in one room.

With round two of chemo being out patient, I get to go home, sleep in my own bed, and breathe the fresh northwest air every day.

The two weeks since I last posted here have been a bit up and down. I was feeling pretty good on that Monday I wrote, but later that week it all caught up with me and I had a couple of days when I felt so fatigued I could barely think straight. On day 10 of cycle one, I had a blood test that confirmed my white cell count was super low, meaning I was very immunocompromised. By Christmas Eve, I was feeling better, but then I didn't sleep well and Christmas Day I felt just OK. By the evening of Christmas Day, I could tell I was fighting a fever, which is a little scary when immunocompromised. I talked to the on-call doctor and she was super helpful. I monitored my temperature closely and, by Sunday I was doing better. No trip to the ER required, which was a relief.

Last week, I felt a little better each day, some days more than others. By the day before round 2, last Sunday, I was feeling pretty good...maybe a lot like I did before chemo started.

And now I'm doing it all over again.

I have some anxiety about round 2 because the chemo drugs are being given over a shorter period of time which I'm afraid may exacerbate some of the side effects, like nausea.

As I type this, I'm halfway through round 2. So far, I've kept the nausea at bay. I can definitely feel the effects of the chemo. I was tired and bit weak yesterday evening, and am feeling that way today, too. It's to be expected. 

But after tomorrow, it's 2 of 6 down! 30% of the way there!

I'll post again early next week with an update.